Writes Dr Clare Harrison, Deputy Head (Pastoral)
The global reaction to the Netflix drama Adolescence last year sparked national conversation around effects of social media on young men and continued the debates about masculinity which had begun with the #MeToo movement and shocking murder of Sarah Everard in 2017. For those of us who are raising boys, it made us more urgently question what we ought to be doing differently.
At Merchant Taylors’ School, we work deliberately in a setting that allows boys the space to understand themselves, take risks, and make mistakes in a supportive and secure environment.
Social pressures are reduced, confidence develops naturally, and boys are encouraged to explore a wide range of interests without fear of judgement or stereotypes. Working so closely with boys every day, we value the qualities they bring to school life: their sense of loyalty and trust, their physicality and the confidence they bring to lessons and, most importantly, the humour which runs through the community. At a time when public debate around masculinity can feel overwhelmingly negative, it is vital that we recognise and celebrate the positives.
We also have a responsibility to support boys as they navigate the world around them and find their own definition of masculinity. We must look after their day-to-day wellbeing and mental health, as they encounter social media, online risks and early romantic relationships, but we also need to prepare them to go out into a diverse, inclusive environment and thrive. Over recent years we have focussed explicitly on these issues in the development of our Pastoral and Academic Curricula. Our bespoke PSHE curriculum is timetabled for every year group and taught by specialists. Boys cover topics ranging from healthy relationships to pornography and these are frequently revisited as pupils mature and experiences expand. There is a focus on critical thinking and boys are encouraged to share their opinions freely, without judgement, but also to challenge and be challenged. All staff have been trained to respond to difficult comments and conversations in class and to identify pupils who may have been exposed to harmful content online. Sanctions are coupled with restorative practice, so that boys can learn from their mistakes and feel shared sense of responsibility. Most importantly, pupil voice is at the centre of our pastoral care, with regular surveys, attitude scales, anonymous reporting and the use of pupil ambassadors to talk openly about issues such as mental health. It is only by asking difficult questions and listening to the boys’ everyday experiences that we can ensure we are creating an inclusive and safe culture.
Our families are an important part of the school community, and we cannot create a healthy culture in school without your support. We are therefore excited to be able to launch a series of talks for parents and carers on the topic of raising boys.
On Tuesday 3rd February in the Examination Hall, Philip Gaydon will speak on Toxic Masculinity and the Manosphere, exploring what these terms mean, how young men are affected, and how parents can use a character education-based approach to broaching these issues with your son. If you are the parent of a boy in the Fifth Form, this may coincide with your parents’ evening, and you will be able to attend after talking to your son’s teachers.
On Tuesday 10th March at 6.30pm, Benjamin Kerr-Shaw will complement this talk on the Changing Landscape of Masculinity, examining how adolescence has evolved and offering practical guidance for discussing the hard-to-tackle topics with teenage boys. This will also be held in the Examination Hall and will run until approximately 7.30pm. Please note that this is a Third Form and Upper Third Form parents’ evening but is timed deliberately so that you might be able to attend both.
These conversations are difficult but important and I very much look forward to meeting you there and continuing to work with you to support our boys as they grow into confident and well-rounded young men.
